The other day, my architect, Satyajeet, a young man asked me, “Madam, in your opinion, what are the good aspects of Indian society and what are the good aspects of western societies”. I responded with what first came to mind, but our conversation was cut short due to some business matters. Later, I realized it would be valuable to explore this topic further for young people. I understood that his question was essentially about which society is better to live in. While we live in one part of the world, we often form perceptions about other parts and hold onto those views throughout our lives. However, for the younger generation deciding whether to migrate out of India, discussing this topic could be quite helpful.
It is true that we shouldn’t judge any culture, as every culture is shaped by a variety of complex factors. However, it’s undeniable that there are fundamental differences between the cultures of India and Western countries. To better understand these differences, we can examine them at the levels of the individual, the family, and society. Let’s explore each of these levels one by one.
At the individual level, there isn’t much autonomy in India. Parents often have significant control over a person’s development, and society tends to be in a constant state of advising. Many adults believe they know what is best for the younger generation, which heavily influences the thoughts, preferences, behaviors, and aspirations of individuals. In contrast, in Western countries, people are more focused on self-discovery. There, the older generation does not see themselves as all-knowing and tends to treat the younger generation with a friendly approach. While they are concerned about the physical and mental well-being of their children, they allow them the freedom to explore and learn about themselves. As a result, in the West, a child’s personality is primarily shaped by their own observations of their environment and circumstances.
At the family and relationship levels in India, our approach is very emotional. Parents often feel a deep sense of responsibility for their children, even when they are adults. Similarly, children feel obligated to take full responsibility for their parents, even when their parents are fully capable of taking care of themselves. In these scenarios, parents may continue to control their children, or children may mistreat their parents, leading to strained relationships, all under the guise of family duty. In Western countries, there is clearer understanding of who is responsible for whom and for how long. A more practical approach is followed: parents care for their children until they reach a certain age and are then expected to be independent. Likewise, children support their parents when they genuinely need assistance, such as when they are no longer able to care for themselves.
At the societal level in India, public etiquette is often not strictly followed. We tend to speak loudly, honk excessively, use gestures that might be inappropriate to others, litter, and generally do not consider the inconvenience our actions may cause to others. Privacy is not a major concern for us; we often visit friends or relatives without any prior notice. Overall, Indians are perceived as warm and friendly people. In contrast, in Western countries, public behavior etiquette is strictly followed. Honking is seen as rude, and public spaces are typically well-maintained. Public displays of affection are widely accepted, and there is a strong emphasis on respecting everyone’s privacy, including that of children.
While we discuss the positive and ‘not so positive’ aspects of India and Western countries, it’s important to acknowledge that these factors can’t be simply labeled as good or bad due to the many nuances involved. A person’s temperament greatly influences their preference for a particular culture. What suits one individual might not suit another. I know several people who have moved to the U.S. with no intention of ever returning, while others, despite having the opportunity to move, choose to stay in India. There are also those who feel equally at home in either place. Ultimately, choosing where to live is a deeply personal decision. Having an understanding of these cultural differences can help people make an informed choice based on their own preferences and nature. I would be pleased to know if this discussion has been helpful in any way in deciding whether to migrate.
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